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Assisted Living Community
QUESTION: For two weeks now I've been trying to write an essay to describe what it's
like to live in an Assisted Living Community (industry/business). Speaking
for myself, I had images of a place where my room would be cleaned, the
meals would be provided in the dining facility, and I would be free to come
and go at my pleasure. That it would be more or less like living in any
other apartment complex except that certain amenities are included. However,
the actual event has been very hard for me to explain; perhaps it's one of
those experiences that can't be understood until one has experienced for
themselves. So bear with me if you will.
Imagine that it is that time of life when we have to put a loved one in a
home because the family just can't do it all anymore. It's not that the
family doesn't want to do, it's just that there's a perfectly
understandable/logical reason why none of the family can take the person
into their own homes, they would if they really could; but it's time to face
the facts about our incapacitated loved ones and that there just aren't any
other options. The considerations are fairly straight forward, the level of
care that is needed, which of the facilities are the best for what the
family can afford, &etc and so forth. Oh, and one other thing matters too,
the degree to which a family cares about the individual (I would have to
guess that out of some 150 residents, that 90% of the are being warehoused
here.) So the research begins in the yellow pages, phone calls are made and
in return, sales brochures are sent back.
And so begins the arrival of brochures showing varying degrees and types of
architecture, rooms, good looking food, smiling staff, &etc. In fact it's
going to say all the things you want to here about the kind of place where
you would put your kin. And for the purposes of this essay, assume the
brochure is about an architecturally very nice Independent/Assisted Living
communities.
At some point though the family, after taking someone to the home has to
leave for home and their (hopefully) loved one is left alone. The first
emotion that hits, and it hits all the way to the bone - is of being utterly
ABANDONED in a strange and foreign land. I never felt so lonely, miserable,
and fearsomely dependent on the kindness of strangers.
On my first full day, I was out front in the smoking area enjoying a good
cigar and a Henry Weinharts root beer, within thirty minutes 3 people
reported me for drinking beer. And that's one of the facets of living here,
people who are so bored they have nothing better than to rat on one another
to staff.
Speaking of staff, my first few weeks here were pretty good, and then new
ownership took over and the only thing they care about is the all mighty
dollar. New staff outright fired about 95% of the old employees when they
showed up for work the next day. This took place over about three weeks. So
now all the employees live and work in fear.
Perhaps it would be helpful to give a few examples: a new (and I use the
term very loosely) recently moved in. He's a woman grabber and a racist; and
due to the new culture here both staff and residents are afraid to report
him for fear of being immediately fired; or of getting on the CEO's S**t
List which could very well lead to having their month to month tenancy
terminated with 30 day's notice. Since most of the people have been
abandoned here they have no where else to go, and no way to get there even
if there was.
With all of the firings and hires, it became obvious that there was less
staff to do the same work in the same time. Because of this, people who need
showers, and pay $100/week for it, now get three minute showers; since staff
is in such a hurry they are now hurting people by trying to get the
shower/dryings done so quickly.
The same goes for the meds, the same amount of pills have to be administered
by less staff but still in the same time. (Fortunately I'm allowed to take
my own meds). But just try asking the nurses aid what the pills are that you
are being given. If you force the issue staff might even call the family to
tell them their loved-one is getting out of hand and harder to help -
meaning it's going to cost more. Another thing the staff is good at is
promoting antagonism between families and residents.
Naturally I'm at the top of the CEO's List. I got involved in the Resident
Council which is mandated by the state so that residents can talk amongst
themselves, take minutes and make suggestions to staff. During the first
meeting I attended I was elected to be the secretary (they had none) and
another woman was elected to be president; I was nominated for president but
I declined because I was just to new here.
Since the president didn't know how to run a meeting, or any thing about
Robert's Rules of Order, the group further voted for me to lead the meetings
until the real president was up to speed. (I would like to note that these
were both 100% votes for me to do this.) During this meeting we actually
accomplished a few things and brought suggestions to the attention of staff.
When the CEO found out that the threat of an active council was in the
offing, she called me into her office telling me that she had received "many
many complaints" about me. The important thing that came out of this meeting
is the CEO made sure I understood that the council was under the thumb of
the company; that and she gave me a few choices, I couldn't lead the
meetings and be secretary at the same time. She totally over turned every
vote that had been taken during the past two meetings, then asked me if I
wanted to be secretary only, or resign. I resigned because I could not, in
good conscience, be the secretary of a rubber stamp council. I asked the
tyrant, I mean, CEO, if she wanted to hear me out. She said
no.
So, as I sit here in my room, do I feel like a free man with constitutional
rights? I don't. Words that are taken for granted, like freedom are but a
bitter memory here. Sure I'm free to get in my car and go. well, since I
haven't lived here for 15 years, other than shopping, I have nowhere to go.
And even when I do leave, I know where I have to return. To my gilded
prison.
A final thought, I can see how the military found guards that mistreated
prisoners. All they have to do is hire from the retirement home business.
And that's the bottom line anyway, this is a business where the only thing
that matters are quarterly bottom lines.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the situation. I still can't
independently care for myself so I have to bide my time. However, I have
talked with a lot of angry residents, sometimes they ask me why I'm not mad
too. I say, "(I don't get mad, I make plans.) I am certain of one thing
though,I will not stay, this place is incentive enough to find my way out of
it and back to a world where I can be free.
ANSWER: I am very sadden to hear of your situation in your living Community.
It gets me very mad!!!
I know you are a smart,intelligent and have a way with words. I know you
will come up with a solution.
I wish you all the best Grandpa Gus. Give em hell when you are ready.
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